Why you should have a couples and money talk

You bought a two carat solitaire and you’ve even engaged a proposal planner  to arrange fireworks and a flash mob when you pop the question.

But she may not say “I do” if you owe money all over town or you bought a big screen TV instead of contributing to your RRSP last year. According to the TD Canada Trust Valentine’s Day Poll, 77 per cent of Canadians say they would not marry someone who was bad at managing their personal finances or if they owed excessive debt.

The poll which surveyed Canadian adults currently or recently in a committed relationship, found that 29 per cent say they would date but never marry someone who couldn't manage their money well; 37 per cent say they wouldn't even date someone who didn't have their finances under control; and 11 per cent say they were recently in a relationship like that, but wouldn't do it again.

Most people feel comfortable discussing money with their partners, but over 20 per cent of survey participants admit they have told their partner that something they purchased cost less than what it did and 13 per cent have hidden a new purchase from their other half.

The Vanier Institute reports that four in 10 marriages end in divorce, yet over 80 percent of people marrying for the first time say a pre-nuptial agreement is out of the question. But not surprisingly, people who are currently separated or divorced are more likely to consider one for their next relationship.

So if your finances are a mess, you still have time to trade the big diamond in for a more modest ring, and use the money you were going to spend on the flashy proposal to pay down your credit card bill instead. You may not only improve your chances of getting the answer you want to hear, but you will likely start your married life on a much more solid financial footing.

And with a little luck, you may also be among the fortunate couples who beat the odds and get to grow old together, celebrating many more years of  romantic Valentine’s Days with the great love of your life.

Also read: Why we celebrated Valentine’s Day three days ago; Tech toy buys for Valentine’s Day; and A bust day for cupid’s cops.

Sheryl Smolkin is a Toronto lawyer, writer and editor. She can be contacted through her website or you can follow her on Twitter @SherylSmolkin.