How much should you spend on wedding presents?

Every time I find out another friend is about to walk down the aisle - after my initial elation for the couple - I start to calculate the costs.

I've come to realize that my gift obligations don't begin and end with just the wedding gift. There's the bridal shower, bachelorette party and engagement party. Then, if you are in the wedding party, you might have to pay for a dress, shoes, hair, make-up, etc. And at the very end, when you don't think you can afford to squeeze another penny out of your budget, you realize you need to buy a wedding gift.

 

Here are three things to keep in mind as you face the same situation:

1. How much should I spend?
Generally speaking, the closer you are to the couple, the more you should spend. Popular wedding website TheKnot.com recommends nothing less than $50 per guest, with an average gift from a friend around $70, and the average gift from a family member at $125. For a student, or recent graduate, these amounts might not be possible, so consider contacting other wedding attendees and pooling your money together.

When I was in college two friends from high school were getting married. They were avid rock climbers, so I went and picked up two carabineers and had them engraved with their names and wedding date. I wrapped them nicely in a box and wrote a thoughtful message on a card. The whole gift cost around $25 and they are still using their carabineers to this day.

2. What if I can't afford a gift?
A wedding invitation is not an invoice. And a thoughtful gift should work within your own budget, whatever that might be.

A gift should not be considered the price of admission to a wedding. Even though a gift is a tradition and expected, it is by no means mandatory. The purpose of having a wedding is not for the bride and groom to receive as many gifts as possible. Rather, it is to celebrate their union.

The cost of the wedding should, in no way, be put on the shoulders of the guests. Guests should not feel obligated to spend $150-200 each to cover the cost of being there. Likewise, the bride and groom should not feel obligated to provide a live band or a huge reception hall if they cannot afford it, or if they are only doing it because they will "make up" the cost of their wedding with gifts  from their registry list.

 

3. Plan ahead
Invitations are usually sent three to four months before the date of the wedding, and more often than not, you will know the details  beforehand. Don't wait until the last minute. If you have a few weddings coming create a budget  and figure out how much you need to tuck away  in order to reach that goal. So when the time comes for your friend to walk down the aisle, you'll have cash  to pay for travel costs and a gift.

And as cheesy as it may sound, your attendance at the wedding is the best gift of all. And whether your present cost $10 or $1,000, a gracious bride and groom will accept it and appreciate your thoughtfulness.

Krystal Yee is a marketing and graphic design professional living in Vancouver. She also blogs at Give Me Back My Five Bucks.